A Closer Look At The "OK Manifesto"

Okay, so I thought I was done with the sodapop topic. But you know how things work out -- try to get the mind off a topic, and sometimes it doesn't want to get off.

Anyway, I felt the need to take a closer look at the "OK Manifesto" to see what (if anything) was okay about it. Here's what I came up with:

1: What's the point of OK? Well, what's the point of anything?

Well, many things have points, and the points are often different. Conservatives and Liberals have a point of overcoming the opposite side and instituting their view of things. A man on a date does things with the point of seducing a woman, whereas sometimes a woman does things with a point of judging whether a man is worth more than a few yards of wasted cloth. Some websites's point is to persuade you to a point of view, whereas others are just to inform and still others try to make you laugh.

And OK Cola's point would seem to merely level things out to an apathetic whole.

2: OK Soda emphatically rejects anything that is not OK, and fully supports anything that is.

I didn't know a soda could act in that manner. Is your caffeinated bubbly sugar-water now alive? And what does it consider OK and NOT OK?

Needs clarity. Badly.

3: The better you understand something, the more OK it turns out to be.

A definite lie. I can think of quite a few things not OK with me; the 2000 Presidential Election (Not only that Bush Jr. Won, but Gore chose losing the election over owing Blacks for electoral victory), my present situation (although that's improving slowly), the city of Gary (A grocery store reopens, then burns down within a month. What's up with that?). And the more I think of these things (except my present situation, where there's some hope in the way), the less OK they are.

So NO, not everything becomes okay with knowledge. Indeed, some things become LESS OK.

4: OK Soda says, "Don't be fooled into thinking there has to be a reason for everything."

Fair enough, although there's few things that exist without reason.

5: OK Soda reveals the surprising truth about people and situations.

You know, if it did I'd hunt me down some remaining cases of this stuff, hunt down some women I had had crushes on in the past, and feed them this stuff. Who knows, I might find some woman who, having held an unrequited crush on me since I was an undeserving callow youth, is still willing to abandon her hubby, give herself to me and let me live off her for free. :) :) :)

Of course, since OK Soda doesn't exist...and one can dream...

6: OK Soda does not subscribe to any religion, or endorse any political party, or do anything other than feel OK.

So what if it doesn't feel OK? What does it do to get back to feeling OK? Does it bow down to the God of OKness? Does it act in some odd way to regain OKness? Does it seek out some new beats to feel OK with? Or does it go back to the old beats that soothed it during its salad days?

7: There is no real secret to feeling OK.

Fair enough, although getting to that feeling may be harder for some than others.

8: OK Soda may be the preferred drink of other people such as yourself.

May be. Maybe if there was a better, more stable flaver to the soda then maybe it could be a preferred drink for someone like me. After all, I DO like to mix Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper together.

9: Never overestimate the remarkable abilities of "OK" brand soda.

Weird. Can I underestimate the abilities? Why would a soda want to be considered "Mediocre?"

Maybe because mediocrity would have been a vast improvement in its actual abilities? Or maybe because it wants to hide. Remember, there are articles and web sites dedicated to OK Soda being a successful attitude adjustment attempted by Neocons than a failed soda.

10: Please wake up every morning knowing that things are going to be OK.

Right. Let's say you're about to be kicked out, with all your stuff thrown out for the local leeches to pick over. You don't have a safe haven to escape to, and you can see the eyes waiting for the pickens to show up outside your door. Are things okay now? (this has happened to a friend of mine)

Let's say you've suffered a stroke, and are in the hospital. You can't even make your hand touch your nose, and you're not sure what you're going to do. Can you honestly say things will be OK?

You're living in a trailer park that just got bought up by some development company, and you (with all your neighbors) have been kicked out. Nobody within one hundred miles of you is willing to take your trailer in, and you can't sell that box. Is everything going to be okay now?

I could add a few other situations. Situations that happen in real life. Even if they're self-caused, they're still not "OK" and it's likely they'll never be "OK" as they are.

(And don't take the Pollyannic view that "things work out in the end." Sometimes they don't. And sometimes they work out in ways that make things worse.)

So we got two affirmatives, five negatives, and three items which yeilded to smart-ass analysis. Not really that good, if you ask me.