Sunday, April 16, 2006

Is That Stuff Diluted, or Full Strength?

BasketBawful brings you...The Gatorade Conspiracy
BasketBawful brings you...The Gatorade Conspiracy, Part 2

So what did I do? I looked at the bottle and my penis.

And guess what: the bottle of Gatorade looked exactly like my penis. Even down to that slight shift in the top.

Actually, let me correct myself: It looks like a circumcised penis. I haven't seen that many penises (being straight and not very athletic, after all) but I'm aware that what most men from the US have is not what they were born with. With most of us, doctors were allowed to cut off a small flap of skin that covered the head.

And you need the 32 ounce bottle for the best comparison. Other bottles sizes, while they're similar, actually follow general "rules" which all bottles share. No, we're talking about something specifically designed with repeat consumption by men and boys in mind. Something made to attract without being obvious. Something we'd like without making the obvious connection that would raise our hackles.

But...the similarity is obvious and there.

And when you consider that the bottle has a very dilute salt mixture in it...

Just saying.

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